Former Morgue Worker Was Wining, Dining, & Romancing’ At The Morgue…Oh Yeah, With The Corpses…

Romance At The Workplace–Don’t, It’s A Bad Idea!

On many nights over 16 years, Kenneth Douglas engaged in his own personal macabre workplace party.

He often brought drugs or alcohol to work and sometimes had sex with women.

At least three of those women were dead, Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters said Thursday.

But if Douglas is to be believed, he could have had sex with as many as “over a hundred” bodies in the 16 years he worked as night attendant at the Hamilton County morgue.

“I am sure there are more (victims). I’m certain of it,” Deters said Thursday in announcing new indictments against Douglas.

“This guy’s just a pig. I can’t explain why someone would do something like this. … This is off-the-charts weird.”

Peter Bronson: Sick, sick, sick and dead wrong

Douglas, 55, of Westwood, already is serving a prison sentence after he pleaded guilty last year to abuse of a corpse. He admitted he had sex with the nearly beheaded body of 19-year-old murder victim Karen Range in 1982.

Thursday, Douglas was indicted on two more counts of abuse of a corpse after DNA evidence, Deters said, showed Douglas’ semen was in the bodies of two women who were killed in 1991 and stored at the morgue awaiting autopsies:

Charlene Edwards, also known as Charlene Apling, who was six months pregnant.

She was strangled to death Oct. 1, 1991, by Mark Chambers, now 47, in Chambers’ Avondale home. Chambers originally was charged with murder but accepted a plea bargain and was convicted of voluntary manslaughter and sent to prison for 10-25 years. He was paroled in 2000.  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–I’ve sometimes wondered what kind of person would want to work at a morgue.  And I usually came to the conclusion that it was exactly the kind depicted in this story.  A sick, nerdy, lonely loser–not that there’s anything wrong with that…until you start doing the stuff he did…

I guess morgues don’t have the strictest hiring standards.  But, ironically, this guy can serve as little as 3 years.  But I just think they’ll come up with more charges though, like tampering with evidence.  This guy is going away for a long time.

I can hear his attorney’s argument clearly:  “My client, although his behavior was somewhat “unusual” did not harm anyone.  Furthermore, none of his victims ever once voiced an objection to his actions!  You’ve heard that ‘No means No’…Never once did any woman utter a ‘No’ or a  ‘Stop’ or anything that would indicate displeasure.”

“Furthermore your Honor, just from a results standpoint it must be said that my client is only being accused of misdeeds with 29 corpses…your Honor, thousands of bodies came through the morgue during Mr. Douglas’ work tenure–that means that well over 90% of the time he acted entirely properly.  That’s a marvelously high success rate!  Thank you your Honor, The Defense Rests.”

This is kind of what was going on…but in reverse.  (Semi-graphic.)

Not A Very Bright Crook…His Counterfeit Money Was Only Printed On One Side

Man Pays Fake Money For Fake Drugs; Will Get Real Jail Time

ERWIN, Tenn. – A man was been arrested after police said he used counterfeit money to purchase fake OxyContin pills from an undercover officer. Unicoi County Sheriff’s deputies arrested a 21-year-old man on Tuesday and charged him with criminal conspiracy with schedule II drugs, forgery and criminal simulation.

Investigator Frank Rogers said the officer met with several people at a mobile home park and arranged for the suspect and another man to come to Unicoi to buy 76 OxyContin pills for $4,875.

Officers said it was “obviously bad money” with some bills printed on just one side.

Authorities also tracked down the device believed used to make the counterfeit money.

The Johnson City Press reported officers expect to make more arrests in the case.

Required hat for a one-sided counterfeiter.

Get The Toned Arms Of The First Lady…Yes, great arms, but it’s her views that are troubling…

Wonderfully toned arms? I guess so...but the problem is what comes out of her mouth.

(CNN) — First lady Michelle Obama has a fashion following, with blogs tracking her daily garment choices.

She’s on the March cover of Vogue in a sleeveless silk sheath. Then there was the purple sleeveless Narciso Rodriguez she wore to the president’s joint session of Congress on Tuesday. And she’s on the cover of the latest People magazine in a lacy pink number, also without sleeves.

Those toned arms are becoming a trademark. And a source of inspiration for some women.

Rylan Duggan, a personal trainer who runs Go Sleeveless, a blog that instructs women how to tone up flabby arms and “eliminate bat wings,” said that in addition to asking how to get “Madonna arms” or “Kelly Ripa arms,” clients are now asking about getting “Obama arms.”

“The Obama effect has been that women of all ages have been inspired to take responsibility for their health and their body,” said Duggan. “As the first lady of the United States, at 44 years old, and with two young children, Mrs. Obama has shown the world that you are never too busy to take care of yourself and look good doing it too,” he said.

Exercise advocates are also fans. “She’s a great role model,” said Jessica Matthews, a continuing education coordinator for the American Council on Exercise. “Women shy away from strength training, because they’re afraid of big muscles. She shows nice toned arms and that it’s not going to lead to this myth of a bodybuilder type.”  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–They are really trying to turn Ms. Obama into Jacqueline Kennedy reincarnate.   I don’t see much in the comparison-except for both of them being young first ladies.

While Ms. Kennedy was your typical blue-blood northeastern liberal, Ms. Obama is not.  She had to learn to become a snob-and she’s done that quite well.  What bothers me about Madame “O” is that she spends a whole lot of time “dissing” her country even though she has been living a dream-life here.

No doubt about it, Ms. Obama is pretty and “tone”–on the outside.  But inside, well, lets just say the jury is still out.

Wal-Mart Employee Sets Himself On Fire Outside the Store…

Man Allegedly Said, He “Couldn’t Take It Any More”

BLOOMINGDALE, Ill. — Police in a Chicago suburb say a Wal-Mart employee has died after setting himself on fire outside the store where he worked.

Police watch commander Randy Sater says 58-year-old Larry Graziano of Carol Stream set himself ablaze late Thursday outside the store in Bloomingdale. It was not immediately clear how he caught on fire, but Sater says lighter fluid was involved.

It's hard to imagine that there would be a disgruntled Wal-Mart employee...

The Cook County Medical Examiner’s office says Graziano was taken to a hospital and pronounced dead early Friday.

Sater says Graziano told police he “couldn’t take it anymore.”

Police say bystanders tried to help, but Graziano fought them off.

Wal-Mart spokesman Dan Fogleman says Graziano had been with the company for seven years and that he had no reported personnel issues.

B.S. Report–It’s not clear how he caught on fire (does that mean they haven’t ruled out spontaneous combustion?) but it “appears” that lighter fluid was “involved.”  My guess is lighter fluid only became involved when the deceased, Mr. Graziano, doused himself with it–otherwise we’re looking at a horrendous murder.

Even so, lighter fluid is mostly benign until a spark is introduced into the equation.

It’s a sad story, and I’m sure Wal-Mart will not use this guy in any of their promotional materials enticing new job applicants. But how unhappy must an employee be to choose death by an excruciatingly painful method, rather than clocking in for even one more hour at the department store goliath?

Oy Ve! You Two Are Really Married…Now I’ll Grant You A Divorce

Teens Hold Mock Wedding…Rabbi Says It Was Legal

JERUSALEM (Reuters) – An Israeli girl has become a divorcee at the age of 14.

This is your lucky day...I have special rates for divorcing girls 15-years-old and under!

It all began as a lark, in a schoolyard where a 17-year-old boy recently declared the girl his wife, reciting a Jewish ritual vow in front of witnesses, and she accepted his ring.

That, and what a spokeswoman for Israel’s Rabbinical Courts said was the consummation of their marriage, was enough to make them man and wife in the Jewish state.

Spokeswoman Efrat Orbach, describing the girl as the youngest Jewish divorcee in Israel’s modern history, said the couple was granted a rabbinical divorce this week.

Under Israeli criminal law, sexual relations with a 14-year-old girl are not illegal as long as her male partner is no more than three years her senior.

B.S. Report–The Rabbi’s conversation with them went something like this:

Rabbi:  Hey you two, you’re really married!

Couple: What do you mean?  We were just kidding!

Rabbi:  Well, did you consummate the marriage?

Couple:  What’s that?

Rabbi:  Did you, uh, become one?

Couple:  What do you mean–become one?

Rabbi:  Did a sacred unifying ceremony take place after the wedding?

Couple:  Uh, we’re not sure…

Rabbi:  My son, did you, uh, did you shtoop her?

Boy:  Oh sure, a bunch of times!

Rabbi:  Congratulations, I now pronounce you man and wife…now to get your divorce proceedings underway…

P.S.  I understand her attorneys are already going after him for spousal support.

Tommy Emmanuel…Great Guitarist!

B.S.–Here’s a little lighter weekend fare for you…my loyal readership.  Recently, I saw the great Tommy Emmanuel in concert at a very small venue in California.  If you like  acoustic guitar, it really doesn’t get any better than Tommy.  If you like what you see, just go to YouTube and there are literally hundreds of his videos posted.  Here’s a sample.

Too Much Playstation Might Cause Painful Lumps…

This dastardly machine is addictive and painful...excuse me while I call my attorney.

No, I Won’t Be In To Work Today…I’m Suffering From A Severe Bout Of Playstation Hands!

LONDON (Reuters) – Gamers beware: Keeping too tight a grip on the console and furiously pushing the buttons can cause a newly identified skin disorder marked by painful lumps on the palms, Swiss scientists said Tuesday.

Called “PlayStation palmar hidradentitis” by the scientists, the skin disorder can cause painful lesions on the palms similar to patches found on the soles of children’s feet after taking part in heavy physical activity, they said.

“The tight and continuous grasping of the hand-grips together with repeated pushing of the buttons produce minor but continuous trauma to the (palm) surfaces,” Vincent Piguet and colleagues at University Hospitals and Medical School of Geneva reported in the British Journal of Dermatology.

A spokesman for Sony Corp, which makes the PlayStation, noted the study involved one person and said the company had sold hundreds of millions of the consoles since the product was introduced in 1995.

“As with any leisure pursuit there are possible consequences of not following common sense, health advice and guidelines, as can be found within our instruction manuals,” Sony spokesman David Wilson said.

“We would not wish to belittle this research and we will study the findings with interest, but this is the first time we have ever heard of a complaint of this nature.”

Excessive gaming is already seen as a public health issue, sparking addictive behavior that can lead to a range of psychological problems, the researchers said.  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–Another good reason to play chess…no painful lumps ever occur from playing chess…unless the person you beat is a sore loser and bops you upside your head.

I’ve never been into playing video games…I’m sure they’re fun but it’s just not my thing.  However, I know plenty of people who love to play games constantly…I don’t think it’s a good use of time…like anything else, moderation is the key.

I know this video may seem silly, but I bet there are a bunch of people, probably you know a few yourself, who are just like these young people.

Wildlife managers using magnets to repel crocodiles by disrupting their “homing” ability

"Go ahead...try and put a magnet on me."

MIAMI (Reuters) – Florida wildlife managers have launched an experiment to see if they can keep crocodiles from returning to residential neighborhoods by temporarily taping magnets to their heads to disrupt their “homing” ability.

Researchers at Mexico’s Crocodile Museum in Chiapas reported in a biology newsletter they had some success with the method, using it to permanently relocate 20 of the reptiles since 2004.

“We said, ‘Hey, we might as well give this a try,” Lindsey Hord, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission’s crocodile response coordinator, said on Tuesday.

Crocodiles are notoriously territorial and when biologists move them from urban areas to new homes in the wild, they often go right back to the place where they were captured, traveling up to 10 miles a week to get there.

Scientists believe they rely in part on the Earth’s magnetic fields to navigate, and that taping magnets to both sides of their heads disorients them.

“They’re just taped on temporarily,” Hord said. “We just put the magnets on when they’re captured and since they don’t know where we take them, they’re lost. The hope would be that they stay where we take them to.”  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–I’m no fan of crocodiles, but this guy had it coming. Ouch!

Freedom Audio/Video Of The Week Mark Levin/Milton Friedman clips

On the weekend we like to slow the pace of the blog down a little bit, take a breather from the normal hustle and bustle and, most of all, try to have a little bit of fun.

But that doesn’t mean we stop learning.  For many of us, weekends are the best time to clarify our own views by taking the time to study from some great teachers.

We need to teach those living among us who either don’t know, have forgotten, or perhaps have been brainwashed by their college professors,  just what it is that made/makes America different (and yes, superior) to all other societies.

In a word, it’s Freedom.

Radio Talk Host Mark Levin played these clips of the great Milton Friedman explaining some basic concepts of capitalism, free markets, rent control etc…

And here’s part 2.

Topless Coffee Shop…One coffee please…Black! Absolutely No Cream…

Aren't you a tad over-dressed? Hey, I paid for topless coffee and I want it! No milk, though.

Think twice about asking for milk in your coffee at this cafe.

Topless waitress serve up steaming cups at The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in Vassalboro, Maine. A sign outside says, “Over 18 only.” Another says, “No cameras, no touching, cash only.”

On Tuesday, two men sipped coffee at a booth while three topless waitresses and a bare-chested waiter stood nearby. Topless waitress Susie Wiley said men, women and couples have stopped by.

Dozens of residents objected to the shop when the Vassalboro planning board meeting took up the matter last month. But town officials said the coffee shop met the letter of the law.

B.S. Report–I find this coffee shop repugnant and revolting–how dare they have topless men serving coffee…I would yank their business license right now for that stunt!