I think this proves he’s crazy! Prisoner cuts off his penis with razor blade…

Monroe Prisoner Amputates His Own Penis

MONROE — A Monroe Correctional Complex prisoner with a history of mental illness was rushed to the hospital Thursday after his second attempt to cut off his penis.

The prisoner, 49, already had amputated much of his genitals several years ago, prison spokeswoman Cathy Kopoian said.

On Thursday the man apparently used a razor blade to cut off what remained.

Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit...

He was rushed by medics to Providence Regional Medical Center Everett with serious cuts to the groin, she said. Doctors there sent the man to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, the region’s trauma center.

Prisoners are permitted basic necessities, including razors, under state law, she said. Prison officials didn’t consider the man at risk to harm himself.

The man was convicted July 1, 1977, for aggravated first-degree murder, Kopoian said. He’s serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole in the special offenders unit, a part of the prison reserved for treating prisoners with mental health issues.

Self-administered penile amputations are a dangerous and painful form of self-mutilation, said Dr. Thomas Walsh, a urologist at UW Medical Center, a specialty treatment center.

“It can be life-threatening,” he said.

If blood loss can be stopped, the patient usually can be stabilized. Prison officials didn’t know the prisoner’s condition Thursday afternoon.

Whenever possible, doctors attempt to reattach the organ, a complicated and costly procedure, Walsh said. The success rate is typically around 50 percent.

Penile amputation is a rare condition and doctors in Seattle deal with only about one case each year, the urologist said.

This kind of self-mutilation typically is caused by psychosis, said Dr. Bruce Gage, the chief of psychiatry for the state Department of Corrections.

“People who cut themselves or hurt themselves are rarely trying to kill themselves,” he said.

More often they are trying to bring about some kind of change or find relief from inner pain, Gage said.

Other psychiatric problems, including personality disorders, also can cause people to hurt themselves. It’s most often not associated with people with gender identity issues, he said.

Treatments vary depending on the underlying condition, Gage said.

B.S. Report–“Self-administered penile amputations are a dangerous and painful form of self-mutilation,” said Dr. Thomas Walsh.  Gee, thanks Doc for your expertise–I also heard being hit by a train can cause tremendous harm.

Apparently the guy has twice taken a knife to his penis and the “twins,” so he must really hate his “fellas.”  Doctors should not try and reattach a penis to this guy–I think you lose your privilege to have one if you’re going to continually treat your “package” with such disrespect.

One less Obama voter? Man shoots TV over converter confusion…

Frustrated Man Guns Down His Own TV

OK, so the DTV transition hasn’t been perfect.

While the early analog-cutoff of 421 TV stations on Feb. 17 has gone relative smoothly according to most reports, that was not the case of at least one Missouri man, according to KARE-TV Minneapolis-ST. Paul.

The station reports that a 70-year-old Joplin man was arrested and charged with unlawful discharge of a firearm after shooting his TV set. Responding to a report of shots being fired, the station reported, the police found the man angry that he had both lost his cable and had been unable to get his new DTV converter box to work.

"You got me."

According to the man’s wife, he had been drinking.

Someone’s about to get grounded…

WAVERLY, Neb. (AP) – A 15-year-old girl turned in her mom for allegedly smoking marijuana in front of her. The 32-year-old woman was cited on suspicion of child abuse and marijuana possession. The daughter called the Lancaster County Sheriff’s Office, and authorities executed a search warrant of her mother’s home on Wednesday.

The girl told authorities where they could find the woman’s drug paraphernalia and marijuana. One gram of pot was found.

Officer, her stash is in her closet...

The woman has two other children living in the home.

B.S. Report–I’m guessing this is going to be a very uncomfortable place for the daughter to live.  As usual, there isn’t any mention of daddy–I assume daddy doesn’t live in the home.  Mom is only 32-years-old so she probably thinks she’s a big sister and not a mom.  There are too many of these households in America right now.

President Obama: One month to destroy the stock market…

Investors have seen through Obama--and they don't like what they see.

Stock Market Gives Obama an “F”

Today marks the one-month anniversary of President Obama’s inauguration. In his brief time in office, the president has overseen three massive new spending initiatives — the $787 billion stimulus bill, the trillion-dollar financial stability initiative and, most recently, the $275 billion mortgage assistance program.

"Obama the Messiah?" Most definitely--NOT!

That’s a lot of activity, and a ton of money, but so far the reaction to the new administration’s programs has been decidedly negative. Investors, among others, have panned the plans; the stock market is off nearly 10% from the day before the inauguration, or more than 800 points on the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

Yesterday, in fact, we crossed a truly alarming divide. The Dow Jones average closed at its lowest point since October 2002, the bottom of the last bear market. The S&P 500 fell to 779, barely above the intra-day low of 741 of last November. For many market analysts, if the market crashes through that recent benchmark, it will next move significantly lower. Ouch.

What is going to turn this beast around, and what should the president do? First of all, let’s dispense with the antiquated notion that only rich people own stocks, and that the market’s ups and downs are unimportant. Almost everyone has a stake in our financial markets, either through owning stocks and bonds directly or through pension plans. Even the neediest Americans who are fed or clothed by charities are hurt when those organizations’ endowments crater or donations dry up.  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–This is what happens when you remove “freedom” from the free market.  We were already in a recession, but for markets to operate efficiently there needs to be confidence that there will be little interference from the government.  Otherwise, you can’t make a competent decision if you don’t know the rules.

When government is as active as it is right now no one can know what new rules will affect decisions made today.   Investors will not risk their money in such an environment.

Right now we have government picking “winners” and “losers” by giving money to selected groups and corporations–and generally sticking their noses everywhere.  Investors will sit and wait until conditions become more predictable.

The best leadership a President can show is when he has the courage to stay out of the way of individuals making their own choices.  Obama is a “savior” and he doesn’t believe in limited government.  In his mind there is no area of life that government should not intrude in.  He is what he is:  A Socialist.

It sure looks like he beat her up…

TMZ has photo of a beaten up Rihanna…it’s easy to see why she didn’t make it back to the awards show.  See the picture here.

Chris Brown-Singer, Songwriter, Dancer....and Girlfriend beater...allegedly. Thug.

B.S. Report–Some of these rappers and hip-hop guys act like they’re so tough, but many of them are just thugs.  This guy, Chris Brown beat her up pretty good………….allegedly.

Fast-Food Tied To Stroke Risk…

"Come in my children...welcome to my stroke parlor!"

People who live in neighborhoods packed with fast-food restaurants are more likely to suffer strokes, U.S. researchers said on Thursday.

They said residents of one Texas county who lived in neighborhoods with the highest number of fast-food restaurants had a 13 percent higher risk of experiencing a stroke than those in neighborhoods with the fewest such restaurants.

The study, presented at the American Stroke Association’s International Stroke Conference, does not prove living near fast-food restaurants raises the risk of stroke, but it does suggest the two are linked in some way.

“The data show a true association,” Dr. Lewis Morgenstern of the University of Michigan’s stroke program, who led the study, said in a statement.

But he said it is not clear whether being surrounded by fast-food means you eat more of it, or that it is simply a sign of an unhealthy neighborhood.

“We need to start unraveling why these particular communities have higher stroke risks,” Morgenstern said. “Is it direct consumption of fast food? Is it the lack of more healthy options? Is there something completely different in these neighborhoods that is associated with poor health?” he asked.

For the study, Morgenstern and colleagues examined stroke data on residents of Nueces County, Texas, between January 1, 2000 and June 2003.

During that time, county residents suffered a total of 1,247 ischemic strokes, the most common type caused by a blocked artery that chokes off bloodflow to the brain.

They used U.S. Census Bureau demographic and socioeconomic data to determine the number of fast-food restaurants in each neighborhood. And they compared neighborhoods with the lowest number of fast-food restaurants — fewer than 12 — to those with the highest number — more than 33.

"I will attract you with my enticing aroma!"

They found the relative stroke risk rose one percent for each fast-food restaurant in a neighborhood.

Morgenstern said public health experts should consider fast-food dense neighborhoods as prime areas for stroke prevention programs.

“We need to consider targeting communities that have a lot of fast-food restaurants as places where we can improve health,” Morgenstern said.

Prior studies have found a link between fast-food restaurants, heart risks and obesity, leading consumer groups to push for laws such as July’s moratorium on new fast-food restaurants in certain Los Angeles neighborhoods.

The food industry often maintains that a lack of exercise is more to blame.

Stroke is the No. 3 killer in the United States behind heart disease and cancer. The CDC estimates 780,000 Americans will have strokes this year. Strokes will kill 150,000 people and leave 15 percent to 30 percent of survivors permanently disabled.

"My McSkillet will cast a McSpell on you"...

B.S. Report–Where I live I am surrounded by fast-food restaurants and not once have I ever been forced to eat at any of them.  You can see where this is heading…just like in the case of cigarettes, you are not responsible for what you ingest.

If you smoke it’s the cigarette manufacturer’s fault because of the addictive qualities of nicotine.  If you constantly eat at fast-food restaurants it’s also going to be blamed on the addictive qualities and manipulative advertising of these unscrupulous profiteers.  The class-action lawyers are already drooling.

Wow, we really must be in a down economy…Drug use among U.S. teens drops

The U.N.--A Big Waste. Burning our money would be more productive.

UNITED NATIONS — In the United States, the world’s largest market for illicit drugs, the number of teenagers abusing them fell between 2001 and 2007, the United Nations said on Thursday.

(B.S.–The U.S. is still the world’s largest market for illicit drugs–see, you naysayers, there are still some high-paying jobs that we’re not shipping overseas!)

But the number of people abusing prescription drugs rose, the U.N. International Narcotics Control Board said in its annual report.

(B.S.–Isn’t virtually everyone with a prescription abusing prescription drugs?)

“The positive aspect,” said Melvyn Levitsky, an INCB member and former U.S. diplomat, was that among American teenagers “it seems that drug abuse has gone down 24 percent in the last eight years.”

There are an estimated 19.9 million Americans aged 12 years or older who are considered current illicit drug users, according to a 2007 U.S. government survey.

The INCB report said the drop in drug use among people aged 12-17 “is mostly attributed to a decrease in the abuse of cannabis; however there has also been a decrease in the abuse of almost all other drugs.”

Among young adults, aged 18-25 years, abuse fell in all drug categories except pain relievers, it said.

(B.S.–Yes, I hear the kids have taken a liking to Oxycotin.)

After cannabis, prescription drugs are the most commonly abused substances.

The report said the non-medical use of prescription pain relievers in the last month by young adults rose from 4.1 percent in 2002 to 4.6 percent in 2007.

The INCB said the drop-off in cannabis use resulted from increased perceived risks of smoking the drug, perhaps due to anti-drug education campaigns.

(B.S.–I guess those anti-Joe Camel ads are working…except for the fact that the kids have moved on to more serious drugs instead.)

“Despite that significant decline, the problem of substance abuse among United States teenagers continues to be widespread, as nearly half of United States students aged 17-18 (47 percent) have tried an illicit drug by the time they have finished secondary school,” the INCB said.

According to the latest available data from the White House’s Office of National Drug Control Policy, Americans spent $64 billion on illicit drugs in 2000.

(B.S.–If they know how much is spent, than they know where it’s being spent.  It seems to me that they can just go out and stop it.)

An estimate from 2002 on the cost of drug abuse to the U.S. economy in lost productivity and health care was $181 billion.

"We condemn the U.S. and Israel in the strongest possible terms, blah, blah, blah." Isn't that pretty much the only thing that goes on there?

B.S. Report–This study is all well and good…I mean, it might be accurate and it might be full of it.  Who knows?  My point is…Is this what the United Nations was founded to do?  To conduct silly drug-use studies?  Studies that are basically duplicate studies of the kind we make here in the states just about every year.

The greater question is:  Who needs the United Nations?  The United Nations is an idea that never panned out.  They don’t fight battles for us and, 9 times out of 10, they do their best to condemn us.  Those in charge of the U.N. are usually dictatorial thugs.  And all the while it’s up to the U.S. to pick up the lions’ share of the freight for this useless and destructive organization.  Why do we always have to be such chumps?

Hey, Don’t You Nuns Take A Vow Of Poverty? This Guy’s Just Trying To Help You Keep Your Word…

Nuns Claim They Were Scammed For Millions On Painting

A convent of nuns has filed a lawsuit against a New York State art appraiser claiming that he cheated the sisters out of $1.7 million in the sale of a painting.

The Daughters of Mary, Mother of Our Savior filed the suit in New York State Supreme Court against appraiser Mark Lasalle and art dealer Mark Zaplin, saying they “intentionally, deliberately, wantonly, maliciously [and] with evil motive … perpetuated fraud against” the nuns.

"Jesus Christ, oops, Jiminy, you could have sold me for millions!"

The sisters received the painting from a parishioner in 2002 and hung it in their chapel outside Albany, the New York Post reported.

When the order considered selling the work, they hired Lasalle to appraise it. He told the nuns the painting was worth between $150,000 and $250,000, and could fetch more if it was restored.

The painting was, in fact, a lost 1889 work by French master William-Adolphe Bouguereau, “Notre Dame D’Anges,” which had been displayed at the World’s Columbian Exhibition in Chicago in 1893, according to a published report.

After the painting was restored, Lasalle allegedly told the nuns the work had a fair-market value of $350,000 to $450,000, and said he had a buyer for the painting: Zaplin.

Lasalle convinced the nuns not to put the painting up for auction, and Zaplin bought it for $450,000 in August 2006, the suit asserts.

Lasalle and Zaplin flipped the painting for more than $2 million, and it has since sold for over $5 million, according to the Post.

"Hi, Maybe I can help...I'm kind of like a super-hero."

The deal was eventually revealed to the nuns through another art dealer, Paul Dumont, who was reportedly involved in the scheme but had a financial dispute with Lasalle and Zaplin.

“Mr. Lasalle said we could ‘screw’ the sisters and make a handsome profit,” Dumont said in an affidavit filed on the nuns’ behalf.

Lasalle’s attorney Dan Sleasman told the Post the allegations in the lawsuit are “false,” and the suit is “filled with one falsehood after another.”

The convent is seeking more than $50 million, charging fraud and unjust enrichment.

B.S. Report–“Mr. Lasalle said we could ‘screw’ the sisters and make a handsome profit.”  Gentlemen, now is that any way to speak about these celibate representatives of the word of G_d?   Guilty as charged!

There must be a special spot in Hades for a guy who hustles Nuns…but, then again, the Nuns didn’t show themselves to be very astute businesswomen.  They should have done their own research on the painting and hired their own appraiser.  Still, they got scammed.

Uh, ladies, er, your Nunships, didn’t it occur to you that he’s trying to make some money on this deal too.  Sometimes you can’t just trust blindly that the Lord will take care of you and lead you down the right path.  Big business doesn’t work that way.  You played in the business world and you ladies got played…

This is a valuable lesson for all you Nuns out there:  You can’t depend on the milk of human kindness–people will often let you down.  You Nuns need to spend a little more time in the ‘hood and a little less time in the Convent!

By the way ladies…you’re suing for $50 million buckaroos.  I know you can do a lot of good things with that kind of scratch but, again, I had no idea that you ladies so wholeheartedly embrace capitalism.  Where’s that vow of poverty I heard so much about?

Japanese Robotic “Mall Cop” Unveiled in Japan…Sorry Paul Blart, Your Services Are No Longer Needed!

Japanese researchers in Tokyo on Wednesday unveiled a robotic mall cop, a two-foot-high security guard on wheels that can track down bad guys running amok on commercial property and disable them with a ‘Spider-Man’ like web.

Named the T-34, possibly after the legendary Soviet tank of World War II, the little blue guy on wheels weighs about 25 pounds and has a top speed of about 6 mph — not quite as fast as Paul Blart’s Segway.

“We have basically designed the robot for corporate use and we expect private security companies to buy them instead of using human guards, but there will also be those tailored for use in homes,” Tmsuk Co.’s Mariko Ishikawa told London’s Daily Telegraph.

The T-34 has internal cameras, heat sensors and microphones, and can be guided by a remote controller via cell phone.

B.S. Report–This version doesn’t really look like it is maneuverable enough to catch people…but I bet they already have faster and more lethal models.

I’m sure you can come up with several uses for one of these robots.  I’d like one for home use–you can use it to shoo salesmen away, and if they don’t go you simply net them like a trout!

Or even better, when your neighbor’s dog tries to do his business on your lawn you can wrap him up like a Christmas present and give him back to your neighbor–who always claims that it isn’t his dog that is crapping on your lawn.

And the Oscar goes to: Keele Maynor for best deceptive performance for faking cancer for 5 years…

Tennessee woman charged in 5-year cancer charade

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. (AP) — For five years, Keele Maynor carried a walking cane, cropped her hair short and coaxed co-workers, neighbors and cancer survivor groups to be generous as she battled breast cancer. She accepted 194 days of paid leave donated by co-workers and blogged about protecting her children from the trauma of hospice care.

Lady, you got alot of ...chutzpah.

“I know God has a reason for me to be here,” she wrote in an Aug. 2 blog entry. “I just don’t always understand or like what I have to go through to stay here.”

It was all a lie. Physically healthy, she played the part of a terminally ill woman in need. When her deceit – she later described it as a “charade” – collapsed, she resigned suddenly from her government job as a $24,000-a-year senior assistant in the city’s land development office.

Maynor acknowledged in a Dec. 12 e-mail to her boss that she has been cancer-free since a scare in 2000.

“I started fabricating this story about cancer in 2003 and it has snowballed and finally came to a head,” she wrote. “I am relieved for two reasons. I don’t have to keep up the charade anymore and I am finally getting some help to figure out why I did this in the first place.”

On Thursday, authorities arrested the 38-year-old in Union City, Ga., on eight counts of theft and one count of forgery, charges leveled this week by a grand jury in Chattanooga. Each of the most serious allegations carries a penalty of up to 60 years in prison.

She had been staying just outside Atlanta since leaving Chattanooga after her ruse unraveled, said Bill Cox, a prosecutor in Hamilton County, Tenn.

An officer at the Georgia jail said Maynor was in custody there. Cox said she would be returned to Chattanooga but no court appearance was immediately scheduled.

Maynor has refused to talk to reporters. A young man who answered a knock on her apartment door recently declined comment and said she did not want to comment. A knock at the apartment door the next day was not answered, although her car was parked outside.

Maynor accepted money and $18,000 worth of paid leave from her co-workers, according to Richard Beeland, a spokesman for the mayor’s office. Her colleagues said they have been asked not to talk about the case.  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–The Academy Awards are around the corner and this is one performance that is going to be hard to top.  But did she think she was going to be able to act like she was terminally ill forever without anybody getting suspicious?

That’s some serious bad karma she’s messing with…I wouldn’t be surprised if a genuine cancer gets her now–and it would be fitting if no one believes her.  In this tough economy I wouldn’t be surprised if those people who loaned her money might start asking for it back.