‘Hi Mom, Hi Dad. I’m Doing Great At School. And I’m Learning So Much. Send Money!’

Now This Urgent Report From The UK Sun….

Burning Your Parents Money Makes More Sense!

Girl receiving Masters in Saran wrap guzzling.

DRUNKEN students heaped shame on Cambridge University by simulating sex acts in sordid booze society initiations.

Education chiefs were “horrified” as girls were snapped on their hands and knees using their mouths to roll condoms on bananas hanging from boys’ trousers.

The girls belong to the Newnham Nuns — a drinking society at the all-female Newnham College.

Other snaps, taken last year, show an undergraduate proudly holding jugs filled with his own VOMIT while two toffs are seen frolicking with midgets dressed as Oompa-Loompas from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film.

Other traditional booze society ceremonies include drinking a pint of water containing a live goldfish, downing gin and port filtered through a condom and staging a mass brawl.

Student taking all-important Final in Beer Bong Funnelling.

Hospital consultant Adrian Boyle said: “In the last ten years the number of female students coming in extremely drunk and incapable has shot up. More are being assaulted too.”

Alcohol Concern’s Carys Davies said: “It’s not really setting a good example.”

The National Union of Students said it “strongly encouraged” a ban on the “dangerous ceremonies”.

A University spokesman said: “We aim to ensure students behave responsibly.”

Girls taking important exam. I passed! I passed! I passed...out!

B.S. Report–College, except for the hard sciences, is a bunch of garbage.  This is what parents spend their hard-earned life savings on.  It makes far more sense, economically and otherwise, to send your kid to the cheapest school possible in your area.  They will probably get the same, or nearly the same, education as some of the most elite schools around–which may not be saying much.

Girl tells police: Mom ‘cooks me in oven’

Reyna Valentino is a very sick woman.

HAMTRAMCK, Michigan — The license plate in the window of the family Cadillac reads “Best Dad.” But a 4-year-old girl told police Mom wasn’t nearly so kind.

“Mom cooks me like a turkey in the oven,” she told police.

Hamtramck cops stumbled onto the graphic allegations of burnings, beatings and torture after the girl’s mother phoned police Jan. 23 and confessed to “harming her children,” Detective Ben Bielecki said Thursday.

She did this to her daughter!

The allegations belied outside appearances of a happy family, shocking neighbors of the family whose front picture window is adorned with the sign “1 God.”

“They were new to the neighborhood,” said Deandre Martin, 28, who lives next door to the white, two-story home near Holbrook. “I didn’t realize what was going on. It’s horrific. I’m just happy the kids are alive.”

Reyna Valentino, 40, a mother of five, faces life in prison on allegations that she burned her 4-year-old daughter in an oven, used a hot nail or screwdriver to singe her eyelids and beat her 5-year-old daughter’s leg with a pry bar.

"I love my daughter...especially if she's properly cooked."

She was arraigned Wednesday on felony charges of first-degree child abuse and torture in 31st District Court.

The 4-year-old gave her account to investigators.

“She said, ‘Her heart is hurt and broke because momma doesn’t love me anymore,’ ” Bielecki read from the report.

”  ’Mom cooks me like a turkey in the oven. I felt fire. It burned my back,’ ” he read. “ ’She hurts me with a screwdriver all the time.’ ”  (Read More.)

B.S. Report–Next time your kid complains when you give him a “Time-Out” or you ground him, and he says you’re so mean, now you have ammunition.  Show him this story–it proves that other parents are far stricter than you are!  Ask him if he would rather be jabbed with a screwdriver, have his eyelids singed, or perhaps be broiled in the oven.

By the way, I would feel pretty uncomfortable right now if I had eaten over their house on Thanksgiving–wow, what a marvelous turkey Reyna, what did you do?  I can’t tell you–it’s an old family recipe.  And I can’t take full credit either because my daughter helped with the, uh, “seasoning.”  Sorry…

Judge Rules TV Is An ‘Essential Good’; Awards Damages

I guess it is essential...if your tv isn't working, do you get it fixed right away?

Judge Says Man Deserves Damages Because He Needs His TV!

SAO PAULO – A Brazilian judge awarded $2,600 in damages to a man who sued a store for not replacing his faulty television set, ruling that it was an “essential good” needed to watch soccer and a popular reality TV show.

The customer took Casas Bahia, Brazil’s largest furniture and home appliances retail chain, to court for “moral damages” inflicted by not being able to watch television.

“In modern life, you cannot deny that a television set, present in almost all homes, is considered an essential good,” ruled the judge from Campos, a town north of Rio de Janeiro.

“Without it, how can the owner watch the beautiful women on ‘Big Brother,’ the national news broadcast or a football game,” the judge quipped.

Brazilians are passionate soccer fans and are currently following the ninth season of the local version of the popular reality TV show “Big Brother.”

B.S. Report–The judge sounds like one of the boys at the bar… “how can the owner watch the beautiful women on ‘Big Brother’, the national news broadcast or a football game.”  I guess we know pretty much what that judge does with his time.

Still, I don’t watch a lot of TV, and I certainly wouldn’t get it fixed if I had to watch soccer (kickball!) but, if mine broke, I would have it fixed or replaced right away. Especially with that big Lakers/Cavs game coming up on Sunday!  Kobe vs. Lebron.  Now that’s essential TV!

Cher: Republican Rule Almost Killed Me! Cher Opens Up To CNS News To Reveal There’s Absolutely Nothing Inside Her Big Empty Puppethead!

Cher Shares Her Brainpower With Us In This Inspiring Interview!

Step right up!  Come and be inspired by the incredible intellectual musings that are CHER!  Let her dazzle you with her brilliant brainpower and cognitive reasoning…Witness the mental dexterity that led her to the absolute summit in her field!

Examples abound as Cher speaks of the anointed one:

Cher:  President Barack Obama’s “intelligence” and “spirit” are “so great” he will be able to do “more than anyone could possibly do.”

(Wow!  There you have it!  Feel the mental acuity?  Hear her brilliant mind whirring? You can hardly hear the gears and levers in her head clanking as she astounds us with her insight!)

Want More?

Cher:  “He brings something more in his spirit than maybe another president could be even with the same intelligence. There’s something about him that brings more with his spirit, and that’s what Americans need right now. Republicans almost killed me.”

(Bravo!  Such clarity!  What intellectual discipline!  Her examples show such depth and nuance!  She brings both perception and power–but also with a rare, seldom-seen wisdom!)

Watch The Interview and be Wowed by the Power that is CHER!

Coming Soon To A Theater Near You—-CHER!

http://www.eyeblast.tv/public/checker.aspx?v=ydnzprSUkU

Today In History

1864  Robert E. Lee named Commander-in-Chief of Confederate Army.

1911 Ronald Wilson Reagan born in Tampico, Illinois.

1926 Oliver Hardy, of Laurel & Hardy comedies, signed with Hal Roach.

1952  Elizabeth becomes Queen Elizabeth II, following the death of her father King George VI.  Below is video of her coronation which took place a year later.

Freedom Quote Of The Day

“There are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by sudden and violent usurpations.”

–James Madison, Speech to the Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 16th, 1788

Kellogg’s Drops Michael Phelps… Guess They Already Have Enough Flakes…

"You blew it kid, Kellogg's Is Greeaaat! to work for! Sorry I won't see you at the office parties."

It’s a lot easier to control animated characters than live ones:

"Yo, Tony. This ain't fair. I love those Frosted Flakes. Put in a word for me...gimme another chance. Hey Tony, Who makes Wheaties? That's not you, is it?"

Kellogg’s Drops Phelps After Photos

The world’s largest cereal maker said on Thursday it would not extend a contract with Phelps, who charmed audiences in Beijing last year with a record-breaking, eight-gold medal haul, saying the photo of the swimmer was inconsistent with its public image.

Phelps, estimated to make millions of dollars annually from marketing deals, issued an apology this week after a British newspaper published a photograph purportedly showing him smoking marijuana during a student party at the University of South Carolina in November.

B.S. Report–Ouch, that could turn out to be a $20 million dollar bong hit.  Hope it was “righteous stuff” dude!  Looks like you’re going to have to get back in the pool, like, right now!

Romney Comes Out For Permanent Tax Cuts

Tax Cuts Would Stimulate The Economy, Not The Government

(CNN) — These are extraordinary times, and like a lot of Republicans I believe that a well-crafted stimulus plan is needed to put people back to work. But the Obama spending bill would stimulate the government, not the economy.

Cut taxes and let the private sector thrive

We’re on an economic tightrope. The package that passed the House is a huge increase in the amount of government borrowing. And we’ve borrowed so much already that if we add too much more debt, or spend foolishly, we could invite an even bigger crisis.

We could precipitate a worldwide crisis of confidence in America, leading to a run on the dollar or hyperinflation that wipes out family savings and devastates the middle class.  (Read more.)

B.S. Report–Romney always was pretty good on the economy.  He believes in low taxes and free markets and the “Adam Smith” view of the “invisible hand” creating incentive where the heavy hand of government can’t.

When You’re The One Receiving The Stimulus Government Spending Should Be… In The Trillions!

Feb. 5 (Bloomberg) — Bill Gross, co-chief investment officer of Pacific Investment Management Co., said the U.S. may slump into a “mini depression” unless policy makers spend trillions of dollars to spur growth.

Sending more "stimulus" to me is sound policy

“This economy needs support from the government, a check from the government in the trillions,” Gross said today in a Bloomberg Television interview from Pimco’s headquarters in Newport Beach, California. “There is a potential catastrophe if the U.S. government continues to focus on billions of dollars.”

President Barack Obama has proposed a stimulus package intended to spur growth estimated at as much as $900 billion. The U.S. economy shrank by 3.8 percent in the fourth quarter, the most since 1982 as consumer spending recorded the worst slide in the postwar era, the Commerce Department said last week.

Pimco won a Federal Reserve contract in December as one of the four managers of a $500 billion program to purchase mortgage-backed securities. The company was also one of the managers selected to run the Commercial Paper Funding Facility in October. (More here.)

B.S. Report– “This economy needs support from the government, a check from the government in the trillions.”  And where is the government going to get that money Mr. Gross?  Doesn’t this make you sick?  How much money should we continue to steal from future generations who have to pay off this gigantic debt?  Are we trying to totally destroy the standard of living in this country?  This guy sounds like I did when I was 5 years old and I asked my mother for something that we couldn’t afford.  “Mom,” I would say, “Just take out your pen and write a check.”

Hearings To Shut Down Conservative Talk Radio In The Works

Sen. Stabenow wants hearings on ‘accountability’; talks fairness doctrine

(This from The Politico.com and Michael Calderone)

This morning, radio host Bill Press brought up the recent closing of liberal station Obama 1260 when speaking with Michigan Sen. Debbie Stabenow, and talked about whether there needs to be a balance to right-wing talk on the radio dial.

BILL PRESS: Yeah, I mean, look: They have a right to say that. They’ve got a right to express that. But, they should not be the only voices heard. So, is it time to bring back the Fairness Doctrine?

The left-wing attack on free speech continues

SENATOR DEBBIE STABENOW (D-MI): I think it’s absolutely time to pass a standard. Now, whether it’s called the Fairness Standard, whether it’s called something else — I absolutely think it’s time to be bringing accountability to the airwaves. I mean, our new president has talked rightly about accountability and transparency. You know, that we all have to step up and be responsible. And, I think in this case, there needs to be some accountability and standards put in place.

Why not fairness in other media?

BILL PRESS: Can we count on you to push for some hearings in the United States Senate this year, to bring these owners in and hold them accountable?

SENATOR DEBBIE STABENOW (D-MI): I have already had some discussions with colleagues and, you know, I feel like that’s gonna happen. Yep.

Although Obama has been publicly opposed to reinstating the fairness doctrine, conservative radio has talked nonstop about the fear of it returning (or perhaps something like it with another name) while there’s a Democrat in the White House and a Democratic majority in Congress.

UPDATE: A commenter points out that Stabenow is married to Tom Athans, a liberal talk radio executive.

B.S. Report–Whose viewpoint “unfairly” dominates 90% of the newspapers in this country?  Whose viewpoint dominates just about all of television news and entertainment shows?  Why isn’t there any demand for regulating the content in those media industries?  Simple, because liberals are quite content to dominate them and they see no reason for “fairness” when it means they would share the airwaves.

Meanwhile, liberal talk radio has been given a fair shot to compete on the radio airwaves and it fails repeatedly.  Bill Press complains that their side (liberalism) has the “right” to be heard.  As if we’re not bombarded by the liberal opinion every time we turn on the television.  Even if you are a liberal, this attack on free speech and the first amendment should bother you.

Listen here to Bill Press talking to Sen. Stabenow about the need for a “Fairness Doctrine.”

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1155201977/bctid10237007001